6.13.2011

Scared of The Death

what comes thru my mind lately that bothered me is about
FEAR OF THE DEATH OF THE LOVED ONES.
I do afraid of death. I do. Who doesn't?
 Because I'm not even halfway done to be a good person, not even close to. That's why i think i haven't even ready yet to it. Hii, astagfirullah deh bayanginnya aja ga sanggup x_x
But what makes it even harder is the death of ur loved ones, it can be mum, papa, siblings, grandma/pa, best friend, lover or anybody that i loved. Indeed.
Death comes to everybody in this world. Anybody without exceptions. It will happen, sooner or later. You just don't know when. when it's gonna happen.
When I think about it, especially when it comes to my beloved mum and darling papa, I can't help myself not to cry. My eyes suddenly teary every time it comes thru my mind. For God sake, I don't want it to happen. I just don't want to sumpeeh :-(
I can't even imagine it, what would it be if they would all disappear? Who else to stand with me? Who else to stand behind my back to back me up? Who else to calm me down when I'm down down down to the ground? Naaaaaa :(
I can easily depend and wish everything to everyone around me that i trust, then when it comes to 'how would it be without them?' Maybe I'd rather let myself disappear and eaten by this motha Earth. Swear! Too hard to imagine. Too painful to feel.
Blah!
Enough I can't continue writing this emotional post wakaka.
I hope I can put these scary thoughts away, ogah gua mikirin beginian mulu. Bisa gila!
Fuu, may the power of mind lead thru o:)

PS: the closer you are to death, the more you feel you are alive.
Have a blessing day. may God always be with u all! ^^,
T.