“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not something to be waited for, but rather something to be achieved.”
— William Jennings Bryan
"Destiny is for losers. It’s just a stupid excuse to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen."
- Blair Waldorf
9.30.2011
9.21.2011
Insecure.
Halo! Hola! Hello!
Mayan nih uda lama gak posting, abisan gak ada yg menarik di idup gue. Biasa-biasa aja. Happy kagak, sedih juga kaga, jd bingung mau posting apa kmrn2. Tapi tapi tapi... Gue merasa agak aneh dan random nihya. Gue lagi sering banget ngerasa insecure gitudeh gakbanget.
Gue kaya ngerasa takut & ga aman, tapi gue juga gatau apa yang mesti ditakutin sebenernya. Gila kan? Congratulation deh gue, mungkin otak gue udah gasruk.
Hmm. Atau mungkin nih ya, karena idup gue lagi enak-enak aja ga ada hambatan belakangan ini, terus gue malah jadi takut sendiri. Takut kalo sewaktu-waktu semuanya rusak, ancur, kandas in a sudden.gitu kali ya?
Belakangan kan sering tuh ya gue ngepost ttg gue takut bokap-nyokap gue makin tua blablabla gtu. Nah skrg beda nyet!
Gue malu sebenernya ngasih taunya. Soalnya ini gak bgt. Sumpah. Tau bangetdeh ini pasti bakal diketawain -_- hem. Jadi sebenernya kawan-kawan, gue ini lagi takut ditinggal laki gueee!! Huaaaaaa aneh bgt kan? Yah freak lu Pang..
Ehserius tapi. Beneran nih. Duh gimana ya jelasinnya? Hubungan gue sih lagi ga renggang, lagi ga se-hot Jupe sama Gaston juga sih. Tapi auk deh kenapa bisa tiba-tiba takut sendiri. Emang freak kali gue. Ck.
Gue takut ditinggalin abisnya. Takut nanti nya ada cewe lain yang lebih menarik hatinya atau gimana gitu. Atau malah dia jenuh bosen sama gue. Atau dia ga kuat sama tingkah annoying gue. Atau apadah gitu. Yah jangan sampe deh, beneran gak tau bakal gimana jadinya kalo kejadian beneran. Ga siap sama sekali huhu ya Allah jangan ya, ya Allah, daripada saya ga kuat terus mati diem-diem bunuh diri pake tali? AMIT-AMIT!
Eh tengsin abis ampe orang nya baca blog gue -_- pasti gede kepala najong.
Jadi harus apa ini gueee??? Gausah dipikirin? Palelu! Lu kira gampang kali kaga mikirinnya. Hem tapi sebenernya sih simpel ya, gue cuma harus ngurangin sifat jelek gue biar dia makin cita (hoek!), terus gue harus bae-bae ga banyak tingkah, terus kalo ntar ada cewe lain? Ya kalo itusih diluar kendali gue ya, mungkin kalopun ntar (amit-amit) sampe ada, berarti ya emang bukan buat gue atau belom waktunya kali (sok abis) dan kalo kalo ada, siap-siap aja lu Sa ketimpuk batako!!!!! HEHEHE.
And to you who supposed to read this, please notice this.
I may not a Type of girl you want to be with, i know.
I may not a girl who talks sweet and lovely to you, i absolutely know.
I may not a type of girl who has a perfect brain beauty and behavior, i know it well.
But one thing i absolutely sure about,
I deeply in love with you, and i love every single thing about you, im so unconditionally in love with you in the name of God sumpah deh
Im so afraid. If one day when you wake up, you realize that im not even worth it. If one day your eyes see someone much better than me? If one day you think that you cant stand beside me anymore.
One thing, dont leave..
Because you absolutely have no idea, how much you mean to me.
Too fast to think about marriage, too fast to think about our future, too fast to think about having kids.. I know.
But this feeling also grow fast. And i can help my self to not to think about that, with you.
Yes you. The one who supposed reading this.
I love you.
Mayan nih uda lama gak posting, abisan gak ada yg menarik di idup gue. Biasa-biasa aja. Happy kagak, sedih juga kaga, jd bingung mau posting apa kmrn2. Tapi tapi tapi... Gue merasa agak aneh dan random nihya. Gue lagi sering banget ngerasa insecure gitudeh gakbanget.
Gue kaya ngerasa takut & ga aman, tapi gue juga gatau apa yang mesti ditakutin sebenernya. Gila kan? Congratulation deh gue, mungkin otak gue udah gasruk.
Hmm. Atau mungkin nih ya, karena idup gue lagi enak-enak aja ga ada hambatan belakangan ini, terus gue malah jadi takut sendiri. Takut kalo sewaktu-waktu semuanya rusak, ancur, kandas in a sudden.gitu kali ya?
Belakangan kan sering tuh ya gue ngepost ttg gue takut bokap-nyokap gue makin tua blablabla gtu. Nah skrg beda nyet!
Gue malu sebenernya ngasih taunya. Soalnya ini gak bgt. Sumpah. Tau bangetdeh ini pasti bakal diketawain -_- hem. Jadi sebenernya kawan-kawan, gue ini lagi takut ditinggal laki gueee!! Huaaaaaa aneh bgt kan? Yah freak lu Pang..
Ehserius tapi. Beneran nih. Duh gimana ya jelasinnya? Hubungan gue sih lagi ga renggang, lagi ga se-hot Jupe sama Gaston juga sih. Tapi auk deh kenapa bisa tiba-tiba takut sendiri. Emang freak kali gue. Ck.
Gue takut ditinggalin abisnya. Takut nanti nya ada cewe lain yang lebih menarik hatinya atau gimana gitu. Atau malah dia jenuh bosen sama gue. Atau dia ga kuat sama tingkah annoying gue. Atau apadah gitu. Yah jangan sampe deh, beneran gak tau bakal gimana jadinya kalo kejadian beneran. Ga siap sama sekali huhu ya Allah jangan ya, ya Allah, daripada saya ga kuat terus mati diem-diem bunuh diri pake tali? AMIT-AMIT!
Eh tengsin abis ampe orang nya baca blog gue -_- pasti gede kepala najong.
Jadi harus apa ini gueee??? Gausah dipikirin? Palelu! Lu kira gampang kali kaga mikirinnya. Hem tapi sebenernya sih simpel ya, gue cuma harus ngurangin sifat jelek gue biar dia makin cita (hoek!), terus gue harus bae-bae ga banyak tingkah, terus kalo ntar ada cewe lain? Ya kalo itusih diluar kendali gue ya, mungkin kalopun ntar (amit-amit) sampe ada, berarti ya emang bukan buat gue atau belom waktunya kali (sok abis) dan kalo kalo ada, siap-siap aja lu Sa ketimpuk batako!!!!! HEHEHE.
And to you who supposed to read this, please notice this.
I may not a Type of girl you want to be with, i know.
I may not a girl who talks sweet and lovely to you, i absolutely know.
I may not a type of girl who has a perfect brain beauty and behavior, i know it well.
But one thing i absolutely sure about,
I deeply in love with you, and i love every single thing about you, im so unconditionally in love with you in the name of God sumpah deh
Im so afraid. If one day when you wake up, you realize that im not even worth it. If one day your eyes see someone much better than me? If one day you think that you cant stand beside me anymore.
One thing, dont leave..
Because you absolutely have no idea, how much you mean to me.
Too fast to think about marriage, too fast to think about our future, too fast to think about having kids.. I know.
But this feeling also grow fast. And i can help my self to not to think about that, with you.
Yes you. The one who supposed reading this.
I love you.
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