Lesson of Life

G'nite Folks..

so much to tell you now. so MUCH. Im done fighting for PTN (Perguruan Tinggi Negri) or Nation's Universities, I'm done! Im done with an empty hand..

Since my very first test, it was selection test for UGM, there was about 20.000 people trying hard with the same chances. and yeah, i was not accepted. my second test, it was SIMAK UI, selection test for Universitas Indonesia, i guess almost all of the third grader tried that. everyone wants to be tha part of Universitas Indonesia here, well who doesnt? hmm, my result? dont ask, its a big no no. theeen, my third. a test for Universitas Padjajaran. ngahh!! still, when i checked my ID from my blackberry "sorry you are not accepted"GAAAHH!! oke oke next, UMB (Ujian Masuk Bersama) and dont ask, youve known it eh? im not accepted hehe. it brings me to my last test, SNMPTN, i choosed; Faculty of Law UGM and Faculty of Law UNPAD.. though it was the easiest one to me, im still not accepted. too bad, eh? hahahah (fyi, i was choosing Faculty of Law for all Universities.)

that was awful.. i was dying evertime I saw my screen says "Sorry you are not accepted"Geez, the baddest feeling ever. more painful than just have lost your sweetest relationship. trust me.

let me tellin you abit about my preparation, i was taking alotta courses for those selection test.. BTA (Bimbingan Tes Alumni), Salemba, and privat course at home. but still.. hahaha am i that stupid or what? but for sure, this is not about how smart you are.. you have to be lucky. smart is not enough. at all.

i used to think like God must be hates me, and i must be the most unlucky girl in the whole town.. i was crying all day. my body is dying, my heart is aching. awful how i can be dumped for many times. and the baddest feeling is to see a friend of mine thats not really serious on their studies accepted in my dreamed nation universities. aaarfghkwzxz!!

but then i saw my self in the mirror, my eyes red and puffy. i was thinking, what the use of crying? it wont change anything. it wont make any difference. im feeling like a fool, for sure. hahaha. "what the hell am i doing?!" 

then noooow, i could think much clearer than before. hehe.

I don't have to be sad bcos of those failures.. i believe, there is a reason behind it, why God didn't make it for my future. 

at least, someday i will understand about God's whole plans and why it does to me.. not now, but one day I will.

I don't have to regret things that I've already done, I should regret the thing I didn't take when I had the chance, right? at least I've tried no matter what the result is :)

keep your life well motivated.

TIPANG