Hey peeps, long time no talk. I'm feeling bad for not sharing about what's on my mind lately on this blog and kept it all inside just like the words unsaid..
Now, I want to tell you, the whole situation that's been bothering me lately.
*taking a deep sigh*
Remember what I wrote in several months ago? About I found the one I was feeling right with? And how comfortable I was in that situation? Yeap! That boy. That G..
The situation has changed. Continually changing.
At first on October I actually thought that something went wrong between us, like I'm not sitting in the right chair or like I can't sleep in the bed even if I'm feeling tired. Just like that. Simple, but....that's bothering a lot.
Ok I thought at first, its probably because of my new life and atmosphere in college, and I thought it will be alright as it was before later. But sadly, its not.
In November, the situation became so much harder. I didn't know why but I rarely contact him and became easily mad at him. I'm feeling bad for doing it to him.
In December, geez! I thought everything's gambling. Its like playing a game and I know exactly I will lose, I really wanna stop, I wish for a restart button but I couldn't. Hah!
I kept on trying to make things right the way it used to be.. I had been trying. So hard. But the result? Big no! Situation's becoming so much complicated.
January, this month.. I was like "omg, will it be back and be alright because I'm just bored with the relationship" or "is it because of he's not the one and he's not that into me" aaaa confusing! Believe me, I'm afraid of taking the wrong path. Huhu.
Hmm did I make something wrong?
Believe me, I have no will to do that! I didn't even want to!
Do not ask why, because I didn't want it either but I have to let it be.
Actually at first I was like happy with him, so much! But as the time go
es by, something felt so wrong in here. Had been fall before, so I can easily compare how worth dying for it was with this situation. And there's a
big line between it two. The situation's different.
But I think, I have to be brave enough to make a decision..
I've been showing how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone.
I can't exactly explain why it's not enough, because I gave it all to him. And nothing seems to work.
Even if I just explain nothing if he asked me what went wrong. That makes me feel guilty because its like I'm leaving him by his side with the words unsaid. My words won't catch the air. It can't be spoken and that's such a big burden!
Well I guess I understand it all now, It's the better thing to do if he wants to leave. Believe me, its better for him to leave.
It's time to surrender. It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying when the pieces don't fit anymore
Ya,
The pieces don't fit in anymore..
I'm sorry. We have to walk in different way now..
We've had enough of trying.
May the best always be with you.
Thanks for being so kind...
I'm sorry for being such a total bitch! :-(
Tipang.
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